just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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