at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
