remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
