p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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