haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
