just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
