doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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