she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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