so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
