Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
