today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
