he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Randomize
