one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
