If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
