My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
it's like heaven, but drunker
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
