can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
