Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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