TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
