I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
