I am puke
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Vodka?
Forever.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
