remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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