So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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