I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
