my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
