Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
