idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
