You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
