singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
