I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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