Your tits are I can't wait for
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
