I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
