well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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