I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
