why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
