grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
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