Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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