Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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