Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
