How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
