I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
