I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
