: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
