So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
