"it" just moved
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
