If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
