his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
