Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
