Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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