is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
