Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
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