I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
